Loyal customers of Linn Area Credit Union protested loudly behind the third base line Sunday afternoon at Perfect Game Field. They had been promised an epic customer appreciation party, instead, they were left baited inside the gates, with only a bag of peanuts to show for it.
In a show of gratitude, Linn Area in conjunction with the Cedar Rapids Kernels offered FREE FOOD! FREE DRINKS! to account holders. The promotion was good for free entry into the game, a bottle of water and a $3 bag of peanuts. Everybody went home happy, right?
Unfortunately that didn’t seem to be the case during Cedar Rapids’ 3-2 loss to Peoria.
Customers were under the impression they were showing out for free beer, hamburgers, hot dogs, brats…that kind of thing. The ungrateful bastards were actually seen ripping apart their water vouchers in a sign of unity against the banking giant.
“I can get the same thing from the drinking fountain, besides, do you know what fish do in water?” said one particularly grumpy senior.
The general consensus in left field was that Linn Area Community Union pulled the old bait and switch trick on their account owners. Lure them to the field with talk of a party, hand out less than you advertise. Those tricky bankers always seem one step ahead!
One man, speaking to the Defender anonymously, said he had rescheduled his entire weekend around the promise of bratwursts, courtesy of his favorite Cedar Rapids bank.
“Usually Sunday is my day of rest, I like, sleep most of the day away. Literally the only reason I got out of bed was to drink beer and eat at the ballpark. I hear Collins Community knows how to throw a real rager.”
Despite the tough talk, several of those interviewed were actively purchasing food and drink from the Kernels’ poverty stricken cashiers. Estimated spending ranged between $25-$45 per person.
It just ain’t cheap to bring the family to the ballpark anymore.
“I mean I give Linn Area Credit Union a no-interest loan every other week. Can I at least get a hot dog?” said the unnamed source.